A Holloween Conversation
I bumped into a guy in a sheet this Holloween...
me: What are you supposed to be?
guy: A ghost.
me: Ah... The ghost of who?
guy: Don't taunt the dead.
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SOMEDAY, GOD WILLING, WE WILL FIND A CURE.
I bumped into a guy in a sheet this Holloween...
Ben: Why you have to be like that, man?
I've put a lot of thought into this and I've finally decided that the best newspaper headline I could ever read would be...
"This is my favorite book," I said.
The pitcher was halfway through his wind-up when the manager stormed from the dugout.
She tossed her head back with laughter, her hair flipping off her soulders only to float softly back to place like a duck filled with helium being thrown from a jetliner slowly caosting back to the oceans from whence it came.
Wally stared at the crotch of his Wrangler jeans, now deeply soaked through as if he had massively pissed himself. Onlookers stared at him with wide-eyes and captured smirks. Somewhere on the periphery, surely, someone was pointing: here was a man caught in the depths of what could only be one of his most embarrassing moments. Others, the pointers thought, would want to see his discomfiture -- this most unsavory of pickles -- and, seeking to displace their own insecurities, these fine gawkers were more than happy to direct the rest who stood in need of a sordid chuckle.
Day 21
Dear John,
And so the candidates debated.
He sat there thinking.
Chapter One
The following conversation is loosely based on a dream I awoke from not too long ago:
Years before his debut single has even been recorded, the infant son of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline is already being panned by critics.
When Emily played, Teddy Bear was her best companion: tea at high noon, slumber parties at night. But when Emily went off to school, Teddy Bear came alive! wandering about the house and having a good ol' teddy bear time.
"I have an idea," the old man proclaimed. "Let us eat this onion as a celebration of peace!"
This is a conversation I overheard on the subway:
There has been a lot of talk recently about whether or not the president really exists. I know for a fact he does not. Yesterday, I was home in Washington, DC and I took a tour of the White House... something that I haven't done since I was in middle school and liked playing with my teddy bears. But this is not about teddy bears; it is about the president -- who does not exist. He used to exist. I know this because the teddy bear is actually named after a president. But I digress.